Chaos
by Fallen Saint
Summary: Duo becomes a "big brother" to bunch of kids, dragging Heero with him. Shonen-ai at the end.


Chaos (or How To Survive an Ambush and Remain Minty Fresh)  
  
  
"Ahhh, he's breathing on me!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
A sharp smack was heard, followed by a whining cry.  
  
"Hey! How many times have I told you not to hit her? If you're gonna do it, at least do it where I can't catch you." Duo pulled the squirming little boy off the couch. "Now go bother Heero," he added with a grin.   
  
The little boy scampered off to where Heero was sitting, reading the paper. Heero's attention was totally on whatever article he was reading and nothing else, giving the child ample time to begin typing his shoelaces together. Elsewhere in the apartment, two mischievous rug rats were busy exploring the medicine cabinet, using their findings to decorate the tiled walls. One of them ran out to Duo, getting his attention with two demanding tugs to his braid.   
"Hey what's this?" asked the child, holding out a tube labeled Superglide. Duo quickly grabbed the tube, trying to conceal his blushing.   
"Er...that's...um...crazy glue, yeah, that's it. Where did you get that?"  
"The bathroom."  
Duo shifted nervously. "Um..what else did you find in there?'  
"Toothpaste, mouth wash, hair gel...we made you a picture!"  
Heero snickered from behind his paper. Crazy glue. That was priceless. Duo glanced over at his koi, noting the reaction. He quickly tossed the half-empty tube onto Heero's lap as the child dragged him to the bathroom to show off his artwork. The blue eyed pilot put down his paper and began to make his way to the bedroom to hide the lube, only to stumble on the floor to the laughter of the children. He quickly spat out a bunch of carpet fibers and cursed under his breath. Ever since Duo volunteered to be a big brother at the orphanage after the war, their home had been overrun almost daily with a barrage of these loud little creatures. But he knew how important this undertaking was for Duo, and saw the joy in the braided boy's eyes whenever his flock was around him. Heero carefully undid the maze of knots in his laces, and gave a mellowed version of his death glare to the kids, which only added fuel to their laughter.  
Duo emerged from the bathroom covered in green toothpaste and a big doofy grin. The boy and girl followed, also wearing toothpaste.   
"What did you ruin now?" Heero asked the trio.  
"Aw we were just having a toothpaste fight, no big deal," replied the biggest kid.   
Heero shook his head and turned back to his paper.   
"Hyaa!!"  
Heero turned quickly to see one of the girls leaping at him, armed with a squirt gun. Years of training kicked in, calculating all possible ways to properly dispose of the enemy, but he had to push them aside and accept attack. The lightweight would have been easy to catch, but Heero indulged her and mock collapsed. She giggled in delight and let the gun rain on his face.  
"Hn. Ok, get off kid."  
She playfully squeezed his nose and hopped off to play with the others. Duo, who had observed from a distance, helped his lover to his feet.  
"You're learning Heero," he said, surprisingly earnest. "Alright guys, let's play a game with Uncle Heero!"  
"I told you, don't call me Uncle He...oof." Duo pulled him down onto the floor with him so they could be at the same height as the children.  
"Let's all sit down now..no, don't do that..Bobby, the fish belongs in the bowl, leave him alone. Alright, we're gonna play...um...charades! You guys know how to play that? Good! Ok Bobby, if you can't sit still, you can go first."  
The rules to this particular game of charades were bent drastically to make it easier on the kids, so Bobby simply stated he was going to do an impression. The half- pint furrowed his brow and tensed up, staring down every person one by one. He kept his face expressionless and his back tall, and just stood.  
"Sister Margarita after we switched her toothpaste with Ben-Gay!" guessed one child.  
"What is it with you guys and toothpaste.." muttered Heero.  
"No, it's one of those evil hypnotists like in the comics Duo got us!" quipped another.  
"Frankenstein!"  
"Oscar the Grouch!" *  
"A guy with a stick up his bu..!"  
"Angela!"  
"Sorry Duo.."  
"I know who it is," yelled the remaining boy in the group. "It's Uncle Heero!"  
Bobby instantly unfroze and pointed with a smile to the correct guesser. Duo rolled on the floor with laughter. Heero paled slightly.   
The doorbell rang, the signal for all the kids to give Duo hugs and goodbyes and stick their tongues out at Heero before running out the door and into the orphanage's van.   
"Tell me, why do we do this again?" mumbled Heero as he surveyed the latest damage to the place.  
"Because we like to have a positive role in the lives of underprivileged children during their formative years?"  
"I think it's more like you want to play with someone who acts your age."  
"It's not my fault we have so much in common," grinned Duo.  
"But you look so much better in toothpaste than they do."  
"Oh really?  
"Mm. You look so...minty fresh..."  
"Aw geez..aw..Heero, where the hell'd ya put the 'crazy glue'?"   
  
  
  
  
  
* - I think that a show as endearing and just plain wonderful as Sesame Street would last way into the After Colonies, don't you? At least in reruns. So there. BTW, this was my first attempt at humor...blechy   
  



End file.
